This morning, I was in Starbuck's and the barista noticed my T-shirt, one of the old "I'M IN TOUCH" shirts.
Barista: What's that shirt?
Me: From an old WTA campaign slogan, "Get in touch with your feminine side."
Barista: Oh, women's tennis. What's their slogan now?
Me: I'm not sure, but it ought to be "Our players are all sex objects."
Barista laughs and nods.
Me: The LPGA is actually worse.
Barista: Oh, I think it's all getting better.
Me: Really? I think it's getting much worse.
Barista: Well, women's softball is the worst.
Me: You mean, because they still call them "first basemen"?
Barista rolls eyes more or less in agreement, then laughs.
Barista: Really. But what I mean is, those players look, you know, softer these days.
Me: That's what I'm saying is worse.
Me: What has "soft" and "pretty" got to do with aggressive athletic performance?
Barista is silent.
Me: There's pressure to look "soft" and "pretty." God forbid there might be any lesbians on the field or the court.
Barista: That shouldn't matter at all.
Me: Well, I guess it does.
(Trust me, you don't want to hear what the grocery store checkout clerk said when I accidentally hit the Food Stamps button.)