Monday, June 30, 2014

Ode to Wimbledon

Oh Wimbledon, you are so dreary,
with your Draconian, ever-changing rules,
your dim-wit schedule-making fools,
and your line officials dressed like freaks.

The staff must be a little bleary
from all that shoe and shirt inspection,
and spot-on serious detection
of women's bums for two whole weeks.

One has to be on guard and leery
of reading British press reports
on how to best see up the skorts.
The contempt for girls and women reeks.

Wimbledon, you make me weary

you make outrageous, pompous claims;
you don't even know the champions' names.
In actual fact, you're clueless geeks.

Oh, Wimbledon, you are so dreary.


Sabey said...

Brilliant! Thanks Diane.
As a former colonial I bought the "Wimbledon is best" line through my childhood but now see it for the anachronistic, classist, sexist mess that it is.

Diane said...

You're welcome, Sabey :)

I'm half-Brit myself (mother's side). Got to wonder about people who live on an island......

Thank goodness for Laura and Heather, who give us the not-Wimbledon perspective!

Doug said...

Actually, FOUR Czechs are into the quarters. Zarina Diyas moved to the Czech Republic at age FIVE.
I agree with anonymous about the stroke grips and racquets. The Eastern and high semi-western are better suited to fast, low-bouncing courts. Actually those are where more and more women are gravitating toward as the game grows more versatile. Notice how many are coming to net and employing touch shots. More than five years ago.

Doug said...

Oops. Diyas is not in the quarters yet, but she was raised in the Czech Republic, where she got her strokes.

sunny nine said...

Great, Diane!

Diane said...

Doug, I forgot all a out Diyas's Czech link--interesting.

Thanks, Sunny.