What's going on?

Those who believe that a Malevolent Force is wreaking havoc at Wimbledon should not be dismissed as either superstitious or uninformed. Indeed, since this is only Day 3 of the tournament, it would be better for us all to brace ourselves for whatever might be next. Because the mayhem certainly can't end here.

Yesterday, a two-time Wimbledon champion went out in the first round, and today, a seven-time champion went out in the second round. But hey-- that's just the ATP; all kinds of chaos has ensued with the WTA, also. Both male and female players are slipping and falling, sometimes with terrible consequences. The powers of Wimbledon have explained to us that the courts themselves are no different than they were last year, which lends even more credence to the "malevolent force" theory.

Consider Victoria Azarenka. The 2nd seed took a nasty (but not uncharacteristic) spill in the first round, and though an MRI showed no structural damage, her pain became worse. Today, Azarenka withdrew from the tournament, and gave a walkover to Flavia Pennetta.

5th seed Sara Errani went out in the first round, as did 10th seed Maria Kirilenko and 13th seed Nadia Petrova.

3rd seed Maria Sharapova fell in straight sets today to former phenom and current world number 131 Michelle Larcher De Brito.

Yaroslava Shvedova withdrew today because of a right arm injury, giving a walkover to 2011 champion Petra Kvitova.

Also going out today was 9th seed Caroline Wozniacki, but I wasn't surprised by that. Wozniacki slipped and fell and hurt her foot. Petra Cetkovska--who slipped and fell and hurt herself badly on a Wimbledon court at the Olympics--is at her best on grass, and grass is the Dane's worst surface. And Wozniacki wasn't the same after she fell; she said the injury affected her Achilles tendon.

Eugenie Bouchard beat Ana Ivanovic in straight sets, and Vesna Dolonc beat countrywoman Jelena Jankovic, also in straight sets.

Somewhere in London, Kvitova has her feet up and is snacking on a pineapple, while Serena Williams is perhaps picking out a new nail color. Who can begin to guess what Tsvetana Pironkova is up to?

Time for some Linda Perry: