U.S. Wimbledon commentators selected

First, the bad news: Dick Enberg, who should have been fired long ago for his inappropriate treatment of Sony Ericsson WTA Tour players, is back for his 25th anniversary of calling Wimbledon matches. "Oh my!" simply does not do justice to this news--more like "Oh please."

In the ESPN booth with the out-of-control Enberg will be Cliff Drysdale, and they will be joined by Mary Joe Fernandez, Mary Carillo, Darren Cahill, Bud Collins, Brad Gilbert (back from a two-year absence), Luke Jensen, and Chris Fowler. Unfortunately, they will also be joined by Patrick McEnroe. And the "roving reporter" will once again be the witty but ultimately annoying and manipulative Pam Shriver (who also deserved to be sacked for her meddling in the 2005 women's French Open semifinal and final).

Some things never change. We can expect mispronunciation of players' names from everyone but Collins and Carillo. We can expect sexism from Enberg and Shriver, with some also tossed in by Fowler and McEnroe. We can expect Fernandez and Drysdale to talk about Sharapova as though she were the world's only perfect human. We can expect Shriver to manufacture "controversies" that do not exist. And we can expect me to tie myself to the chair so that I won't be tempted to throw a brick at the screen every time McEnroe says "Droppa!"